Just to Touch Him
by Digiboy-Stew
Summary: Four years after defeating MaloMyotismon, high schoolers TK and Davis face their scariest challenge: The feelings they have about each other. Warning: Massive amounts of Daikeru ahead. Rated M for yaoi.
1. Lips Which Lie

"Just to Touch Him..."

Chapter One: Lips Which Lie

By Digiboy-stew

Notes and warnings: This fanfiction depicts characters from the animated show, "Digimon" engaging in some behaviors which some may find inappropriate. Most noteworthy, it contains an in-depth scene of two underage boys having intercourse. It should also be noted that there is gratuitous mentioning of underwear and brief-styled swimwear in a highly sexual manor (yes, I do have a "thing" for undies). If you happen to find this unappealing or offensive, then I suggest maneuvering you eyes away from this page.

This work of fanfiction is used without the permission of any company affiliated with the creation of the "Digimon" cartoon.

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**The following story takes place four years after the conclusion of the second season of Digimon. Being that the main characters in this story were twelve years old at that time, they are now sixteen, and attending eleventh grade.**

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Stepping off the yellow bus, he gave Kari a hollow kiss, before they parted ways for another redundant day of eleventh grade. There was nothing particularly bad about this meeting of the lips. Every kiss that TK planted on his girlfriend was hollow, void of any sustenance. It was a microcosm of a relationship which TK found to be limp, and unfulfilling. How badly TK wanted to open up to Kari with the truth of how he felt about the two of them dating, but he couldn't bear to hurt her in such a manner. Thus the facade went on.

Years ago, TK did feel that he loved Kari. Being the only two Digidestined to actively partake in victory over Myotismon on two separate occasions, they developed an intricate comradery with each other. Following the group's D-3 powered moving of the final destiny stone, Kari and TK's future destinies seemed set in stone, when Azulongmon informed all six kids that the crests of light and hope were unique from the others, and worked in harmony together.

Fate seemed to have allotted TK and Kari to be united for life. And while Kari was in syncopation with the idea, TK felt a chronic despair since the two had started dating over three years ago.

To be fair, TK did have love for his girlfriend. Kari was one of the few people whom TK could divulge his innermost secrets to, knowing that she could comfort him with the same kind of sympathetic compassion that he used to obtain from his somewhat estranged older brother (constantly out of town, continuously touring the world with his rock gig). It wasn't until their fledgling relationship began to flutter, that TK came to the jagged realization that love is a versatile entity which takes on a wide variety of shapes. He loved Kari as a friend beyond all others he'd ever come across. She was closer to him than most brothers and sisters ever become. But, therein lay the problem. The love he had for Kari was in the same mold as the love he had for Matt, or Patamon, or his mom. It wasn't the phase of love one should feel towards a romantic companion.

None of this was Kari's fault. None of her actions warranted TK to abstain from sensually and sexually getting close to her. Wasn't Kari's fault at all. She just ended up on the wrong end of the chromosome lottery, being dealt XX, as opposed to XY.

For over a year, TK had acknowledged to himself the fierce lust he had for other boys, though it had been around much longer than that. Class periods in school were spent glancing at other boys causing his mind to wander into escapades of ecstasy. He'd envision himself under their desks, opening the flies of their khakis or jeans as the teacher continued on with the lecture. He wanted to suck them off so well they'd wish the dismissal bell would never ring, and school would be extended. That was one of his more tame fantasies. It was an absolute mystery to TK that he never failed to get straight A's while being bombarded with such daydreams.

Returning home, the fantasies would come to fruition with the aid of his left hand. Daydreaming aside however, it remained the only sexual companion he'd eloped with. His virginity was still intact.

Hints of girlish mannerisms were slowly surfacing as well. TK's room became an orphanage for a daunting stuffed animal collection (his favorites being vintage Care Bears and inhabitants of the Hundred Acre Wood). The decor and color scheme of the room had shifted as well, from plain white and dark green to a pastel ambiance of seafoam green, washed out banana yellow, and wisteria purple, like a hotel room one would see on Miami Vice.

TK's mother did have some concern over the idea that her youngest son could be a homosexual, but older brother Matt (protective of the younger sibling, as always) reasoned that TK had always been an introverted boy, and it was a healthy thing that he expressed himself anyway he wished. Matt, himself a bisexual, was pretty keen on picking up on his little brother's homosexuality, but never questioned him about it, instead sitting back and waiting for the boy to spill it out.

One aspect of TK's effeminate belongings his mother had yet to see was his clothing, as TK had opted to do his own laundry for quite a few years. While most other teen boys made the trendy conversion from shorter-than-short briefs to the cult of boxer shorts, TK strayed further into a skin-showing underwear realm. Bikini briefs became the new lounge for his boys, except when, once in a blue moon, he succumbed to raunchy urges and wedged into a thong.

As other teens walked sandy beaches like albino fugitives, their legs hidden under shin-long board shorts, TK's lanky legs seemed to be inviting the sun to permeate their skin. He would sport a pair of green speedos, obtaining V-shaped tanlines which lingered for days after. Kari had seen her boyfriend masquerading in his lycra swimwear for weeks at a time. For that matter, so did all the other digidestined, being that TK hit the beach wearing them during the annual digidestined summer vacation.

The other kids (especially outspoken Yolei) would tell TK how cool it was for him the flaunt such attire. All except for Kari, who, like TK's mother, was worried something might be askew with her boyfriend. On birthdays and holidays she'd express her opinions through passive-aggressive means.

Stuffed animals, crocheting yarn, new hats, and even hair products were bestowed upon TK by the other kids. Kari's gifts, however, consisted of things like board shorts, action movies, and even dumbbells. It was at these times that TK could feel the gap between the two opening ever wider. It felt like the two were on separate icebergs, perpetually drifting in opposing directions, with a dark ocean of deception, deceit, and despair stirring between. And as TK parted lips with his pseudo-girlfriend, he could feel the spray of surging dark waves ramming the glacier's jutting cliffside.

Even in first period gym class, swimming in a chlorinated, indoor pool, TK felt like he was being whipped around in a sea of loveless deceit.


	2. Crossroads of Reality and Fantasy

"Just to Touch Him..."

Chapter Two: Crossroads of Reality and Fantasy

By: Digiboy-Stew

Notes and Warnings: This story features yaoi (homosexual) love between two teenage boys from the series Digimon. This chapter, in particular, includes masturbation by one of the main characters. Also, as was mentioned in the previous chapter, there is gratuitous mentioning of underwear and speedos in a highly sexual manor, especially in this chapter. I'll admit I have somewhat of a massive fetish for undies, so you can pretty much expect that element in all my works.

For legal purposes, I have to say that this story is not intended for readers under the age of 18. This story is used without permission from the creators of Digimon. It is a piece of lemon fanfiction. My interpretation and use of these characters is not an authorized

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_Post gym class in the boy's locker room: A written account of Davis' thoughts_

I hate how he doesn't smile whenever he beats me at swimming. Just that serious TK face, as if it's to be expected. What a smug jerk. He thinks he's so perfect. But, but he is. He's such a perfect boy. It's just, I don't know. He should just smile more.

I love it when he smiles.

Now what's my combination again? God, why do I always forget it? Maybe Yolei was right. No, no she's not! I'm not an airhead. Jun, now she's an airhead. Oh yeah, 21-23-5... No, that's my chest of Playgirls, not the gym locker.

He's toweling his hair off. How the fuck can someone's hair be so perfect? So golden, I'd fistfight Kari and Nefertimon to just touch it. Claim it for myself. Damn you Kari, I should have his body. To touch him in those lil' green speedos. Speedos! That dickhead! What highschooler wears speedos these days? Why are you making my dick hard in the locker room? Just wanna bend you over, rip em' off, lube up, hold the back of your blond hair like a cowboy and... No, get down dick! Oh God, will you soften up? This isn't the time or place.

6-12-24. Yeah, that's it! See, I'm no moron. It's not like it's an easy combination to remember. OK now, bathing suit off and now it's time to get back into my tighty whities... Well, could these be considered tighty whities? They're blue. Tighty bluies. No, that just doesn't sound right. It's silly. Like bluie wooies. Yeah, fuck boxers, I wear bluie wooies! I like my undies tight. But not as tight as TK with those girly lookin bikinis.

TK! Turn around now you dummy, or you'll miss out.

Crap. Turned too fast. Crappity crap, he's looking at me now. Don't stare. Look, but don't look like you're looking. And don't stare at his waist... waist... waistband. Oh sweet lord, he's got his thumbs tucked in his waistband. This is it. I'm harder than a control spire. Shit! Can he see the boner in my bluie wooies? Maybe that's why he's looking at me. I'm not blushing now, am I? Turn around so he doesn't notice your hard on.

Ghaaah, I can't! I need to see this. Remember it for when I get home and jerk off. I'm gonna jerk off so much...

Jackpot. Such a small patch of blond pubes. Can't believe they're lighter than his hair, but there it is.

Little cock he's got. Ha! Guess you ain't so perfect after all, blondie. Looks like ya just got out of a pool... ahh... he actually did. Shrinkage? What if his dick really is huge? What if he's so big, he doesn't have to go to college, and makes millions just doing porn? What if he's as big as Matt? Nine inches is what both Tai and Jun told me. And TK's his brother. Maybe size runs in the family. Or maybe Matt stole it all for himself, and left only tiny genes behind for the younger brother. Yeah. Yeah! He's tiny. Tiny TK. That's how he can wear those undies. If I wore them, I'd burst out, cuz I'm so much bigger.

He's holding them right now. Which pair is he wiggling into today? White, yellow, light green, olive green, aqua green? Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, it's them. Yellow and green checkered pattern. Jeez, I'm so hard. I'm so fucking hard. TK, you shitbag, why do you have to make me so hard? I'm gonna bust a nut for God's sake. Every time were in this locker room you get me so hard. I should change in the stalls because someday soon someone's gonna notice the erection you make me have. Can't you see what you do to me, damn it. Can't you see how you make my dick hard and hungry while driving my brain insane? You and your perfect body, and sapphire eyes, and blond hair, wearing those speedos and bikini briefs. Especially the pair you got in your little perfect hands today. Why'd you have to wear those ones? You know they're my favorite. You know they wanna make me jump you like a game of checkers... checkered bikinis. Man, I just wanna lay you on your tummy, in those undies and play checkers on your buns.

One foot through... now the other... that's right, grab that waistband and just slide em up those skinny legs. I swear, if reincarnation is real, I wanna come back in the next life as the cotton that makes up your underwear. Or your speedos. Well, speedos aren't made of cotton, but whatever plant they come from, I'd wanna be.

Now the yellow and green shirt. Still no pants. The hat's gonna be next. It's always the same order. Then, the knee-high tube socks, then, finally, sadly, pants.

Love lookin at his legs when he's wearing just a shirt and undies. All I can see is a bit of bulge peeking out below the shirt's bottom. A little upside-down triangle. A segment of bikini-wrapped boyhood.

Gotta tattoo this image in my head. I'm gonna jerk off so much when I get home. And he's better masturbation ammo than all the internet can offer. I'd love to treat him like the internet. Surf him all day and night, and go to wherever I wanted upon his body.

I just wanna go into his body.

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_In TK's bedroom, after school_

Cradled in TK's lanky right arm was a mint green teddy bear. Wish Bear, from the Care Bears, to be precise. Sitting on his Hello Kitty blanketed bed, TK held the stuffed animal snug as he looked at the picture in his left palm. Five kids on a deserted school soccer field, all of them giving such carefree smiles that one would be hard pressed to believe that they were carrying the fate of a whole world on their small shoulders. TK still remembered Izzy taking that very snapshot, a group photo depicting the second wave of Digidestined shortly before their final confrontation with The Digimon Emperor. It never ceased to amaze TK how much easier things seemed back in those days. Running into situations and enemies that threatened to kill he and his closest friends wasn't nearly as hard to swallow as the hell of adolescence. The personal hell of coming to terms with his unquenchable lust for boys. Of course he felt much fear back in those days, but fear was easy to deal with compared to the shame of who he had become. TK knew shame to be worse than fear. Most of the Digidestined did as well.

Seeing the picture brought a smile to TK's face. There they were: Cody, Yolei, Davis, Kari, and himself, arms wrapped around each other's shoulders, their Digimon partners either sitting on top of their heads or flying just slightly above. They were all smiling, brimming with such optimism. Especially Davis. Davis.

Davis.

Everything about Davis was magical to TK. While most of the other Digidestined poked fun at the goggle-headed jokester not one of them questioned the fact that he truly was the leader of the group. Nobody had such reckless courage like Davis. It was Davis, more than anyone else, who not only was responsible for defeating The Digimon Emperor, but also convinced Ken to join the group. And Davis was the only one of the six Digidestined who was brave enough to stand up to MaloMyotismon. While the others stood around cowering, shivering, and crying in terror, Davis stepped up and urged Exveemon to fight. And when MaloMyotismon unleashed his mental illusion, it was Davis who defied the odds and went unaffected, allowing himself and Veemon to rescue all the others. TK remembered Davis defiantly telling MaloMyotismon that the attack was useless because he had nothing to worry about in his life. TK would die for such a way of thinking. He envied it.

Of course looks were definitely something that Davis didn't have to worry about. "He's so handsome," TK whispered to himself while gazing at the photograph, his eyes now honed in exclusively on Davis. "My sweet prince. My everything."

At this point, TK began unbuttoning the tight shorts around his waist. In a state of fantasy, he began whispering, "Davis, be gentle," while discarding his pants fully from his legs, throwing them off to the side of his bed. In TK's mind, it was Davis who slid his shorts off, preparing to take his virginity. It was also Davis, whom he envisioned massaging the bulge in his bikini briefs, before peeling them off as well, leaving TK in no more than his green and yellow t-shirt.

Still laying on his back, TK picked up a hairbrush which he always kept nearby. He never used it for it's intended purpose. Instead, he used the rounded handle as a sextoy. After applying a small amount of lubricant to it, TK wedged the brush handle up his virgin boy butt.

"Davis," he quietly squealed upon penetration. While in real life TK was by himself, using a plastic device, his fantasies dictated that his insides were being explored by Davis, his skinny body looming over TK, doing him in a missionary position. Laying on his back, TK lifted his legs in the air and bent his knees back to allow his goggle-headed prince a chance to go deeper. With his right hand, TK worked the brush handle in and out of his tight hole while his left hand was busy masturbating his four inch boyhood.

Running hands through his blond hair while thrusting deep and hard. This is what TK envisioned his friend doing to him. With one more hard push, TK could feel his penis pulsating. "Davis, I, I...," he moaned, pumping out his goo.

TK remained still on his back, his pulse, breathing, and penis getting softer, returning to normal. After all sexual fantasy had diminished, the blond teenager brought his left hand to his lips and licked off the sticky semen which coated it like a liquid glove. Still without pants, TK clutched his Care Bear and took another look at the Digidestined photo. Again, his eyes were drawn to Davis, but now that he was no longer horny, TK's eyes were not filled with lust, but sadness. Reality was gnawing at him. He could never claim Davis for his own heart. 'Not only is Davis a heterosexual, but if he was gay then he'd never bother with somebody like me' TK thought to himself. 'He's so strong, so courageous. I'll never be on his level.'

'He saw me staring. He caught me staring at him in the locker room. He probably thinks I'm a pervert. He knows I'm gay. And he hates me...'

The longer he stared at the grinning image of Davis, the more he wanted to cry. "He doesn't even know my name...," TK sighed. For months after they had first been friends, Davis called TK everything from TO to TJ to TZ, but not TK. Davis still would tease TK by calling him other names, even though TK knew that the goggle boy knew his real name by this point. But still, to not know something as simple as 'TK' for months on end was verification that Davis didn't really have any feeling for TK. The name 'Davis' had been etched in TK's mind since they were first introduced to each other. TK cared. But it was all too apparent that Davis didn't.

"He doesn't even know my name..."

Now TK hugged his teddy bear hard, laying on his side, and curling himself into a ball. He was on the verge of breaking down, not just about Davis, but about everything. He felt so much shame due to his homosexuality. He felt like he wasn't being the son his parents wanted. As tears almost broke through, he remembered that Matt was back in town, at his dad's house, taking a break from touring. His older brother always gave TK a shoulder to cry on, and always went out of his way to comfort TK. It had been that way since they were little.

TK needed Matt. Specifically, he needed to level with his older brother. TK had hidden the truth too long, and he needed to tell somebody about his attraction to boys.

'What if he disowns me as a brother?' TK thought. Now the tears couldn't be held back. The mere thought of Matt abandoning him was like a knife in TK's heart. He'd probably kill himself if that happened.

'No, no, Matt loves you,' he reassured himself. 'He's always been there for you. He'll always be there for you.'

TK also reminded himself that his brother was bisexual, something which everyone in both Digidestined groups knew well. And Matt had always been supportive of TK's effeminate side, whether it be collecting stuffed animals or wearing fuzzy pink bunny slippers at night (slippers which Matt had actually given TK as a Christmas gift). But there was still worry in TK that Matt would shun him. Bisexuality was one thing. At least Matt liked girls as well as boys. But TK was simply homosexual. He had no attraction to girls. And TK didn't know for certain if Matt would be able to accept that. But TK needed to let it out to someone. And Matt had always been the most important and caring person in his entire life.

'I have to tell him.'

It couldn't be delayed any longer. He needed Matt. With a nervous sigh, TK picked up the phone and dialed his big brother, asking if he could come over and talk. "I'd love to, bro," Matt told him, knowing from his little brother's voice that something was wrong with TK. "You know you can talk to me about anything, anytime."

After hanging up, TK got up from his bed. He promptly put on a pair of yellow thongs, grey pants, socks, shoes, and hat before heading out to see his older brother.


	3. Bond of Brothers

"Just to Touch Him..."

Chapter Three: Bond of Brothers

By: Digiboy-Stew

Notes and Warnings: Characters in this story are based on those from the cartoon, Digimon. I do not own Digimon, nor do I have authorized permission to use these characters, but I am because this is a piece of fanfiction.

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Matt was prompt in his answering of the door after only one knock by TK. He and his band had been busy on a European tour, and it was only recently that he had gotten back home to Japan. He had been away for months, and it was the first time since returning home that he was going to spend some time with his beloved little brother. But Matt was unsure of how this meeting would unfold. TK had called him out of the blue, obviously distressed about something, but what that something was, Matt didn't have a clue. TK could be very cryptic when speaking to others, scared to share secrets, too often leaving them bottled inside. But if he ever needed an ear to spill out his inner demons to, Matt would never hesitate in lending one. And he had a hunch that this union would be a cerebral one.

As the front door opened, the two blonds both immediately smiled upon seeing one another. But TK quickly felt a sagging lump build in his gut, reminded again of why he was here, and what he risked losing by telling his brother about his secret shame. Earlier in his room, TK cried at the prospect of being disowned by his older brother due to his involuntary homosexuality. But now, seeing Matt in the flesh, that scenario was even harder to envision. Matt was the best big brother he could ever ask for. And should the taller, longer haired sibling ostracize TK due to homophobia, TK knew that suicide would be the only course of action to take. But even with such fears, TK still smiled at the joy of seeing his big bro for the first time in ages. He felt comforted by just being in Matt's presence.

Matt stepped out from to doorway to embrace TK in a quick, friendly hug. "Great to see you again, bro," Matt stated.

"You have no idea," TK responded. "Thanks for letting me come over on such short notice."

They broke their hug, with Matt saying, "You don't need to thank me for that. It's not like we're business partners. You're my brother. And this is your house too." TK smiled at his Matt's unfaltering display of brotherly love. Matt continued, "So c'mon. Let's go inside."

Through the front door, TK stepped, where he was greeted by a messy living room. Matt was aware of the unkempt nature of the house, apologizing, "Sorry it's so unorganized in here. I'm never really home, and dad's not really the best housekeeper."

TK laughed, "Dad never was good at mom sorta stuff, was he."

"You're not kidding," Matt agreed. "I didn't think it could happen, but his cooking has gotten even worse recently."

Again, TK laughed, thinking of the times when the family lived together. Thinking back to those nights when his mom wasn't home, placing dinner duty in his dad's hands. He remembered how bad those meals were, despite his father trying his best to please his two sons. TK rarely tasted his father's cooking since the divorce. Oddly enough, he missed it. As bad as it tasted, it was still indicative of a time when he, Matt, and both parents lived happily under one roof together. He'd eat his dad's vile dishes everyday if it meant reuniting the family again. Of course, this option was null. An impossible fantasy. And though the separation happened years ago, it was still something that TK had yet to emotionally overcome.

"Speaking of food, do you want something to eat or drink?," Matt asked.

"Um, no thanks, Matt. Maybe later. But now, I just need to talk."

"Yeah, I know," Matt worriedly said. He knew something was gnawing at TK's mind, and being his older brother naturally dictated Matt to be concerned about what was upsetting TK. He only hoped that he could be of some help. "Let's go on up to my room," Matt said.

After ascending the stairs, TK stepped into Matt's room which had changed since the last time TK had seen it. The walls were totally covered in stuff related to Matt's music career. There were copies of 'Teenage Wolves' concert flyers written in several different languages, as well as articles from newspapers and magazines, including one from Rolling Stone which gave the latest 'Teenage Wolves' album 5 out of 5 stars, proclaiming it as "album of the decade." Various photos were hung on the wall, depicting Matt and his bandmates standing amongst famous foreign landmarks during their world tour. The Liberty Bell in Philadelphia U.S.A., Saint Basil's Cathedral in Moscow Russia, Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro Brazil, Big Ben in London England, Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem... Matt had snapshots of he and his bandmates in front of all these exotic wonders and many more.

Plenty of items which were sentimental to TK were in the room as well. The standout was a photo blown up to poster size, which was framed and hung in the center of the wall. It showed TK and Matt in Shibuya, standing between two playfully wild Digimon, Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon, shortly before Myotismon arrived on the scene and inhumanly destroyed the two fun-loving pranksters. Upon seeing the two benevolent mischief makers, TK nearly welled up with tears before something else caught his attention. Amongst the clothing and clutter in Matt's room lay a harmonica. Few material items exemplified the brotherly bond that TK shared with Matt as did this small musical instrument. Since before TK could remember, Matt would bring it out and whistle a comforting tune whenever TK was uneasy or nervous about something. The future grammy winner would play it through the nights in the Digital World, allowing its melody to usher the other kids into slumber, where they would have dreams which were not nearly as bizarre as the reality they happened to stumble into. TK wished that Matt would pick it up and play him a song at this moment, to help him calm his distraught nerves.

TK crouched down to take a closer look at the harmonica laying upon the dirty floor. Upon doing so, the waistband of his pants lowered whilst the bottom of his t-shirt raised up. This actually exposed the back of TK's yellow thong underwear to Matt, who sat on his bed behind the teenager. Upon catching a glimpse of TK's skimpy thong, Matt could only roll his eyes with a smile while thinking, 'Oh jeez. My little brother is getting gayer by the minute.'

After standing back up, TK looked at Matt, then looked around for a nice place to sit for the upcoming chat. Matt seemed to pick up on TK's problem, and offered a solution, "You can just push those clothes off my beanbag chair if you wanna take a seat." TK did so, and plopped his little backside into the low green cushion.

A few seconds went by with Matt looking at TK, wondering what was weighing so hard on his mind, and TK looking down at the floor, trying to collect his thoughts. 'This could be it,' TK thought to himself. 'This could be the last few moments that my brother will love me.'

Unwilling to sit through anymore silence, Matt asked, "So what's up?"

TK dodged the main issue he needed to talk about, electing to make small talk. "Nothing much," he told Matt. "Just school, stuff like that."

"That sounds cool," Matt said.

"I bet it's not as cool as touring the world," TK spoke, referring to his brother's bedouin lifestyle as a musician. "Looks like you've been to some really interesting places."

"Yeah, it's been a wild year, that's for sure. But trust me, being a musician isn't all fine and dandy."

"Problems?"

"Somewhat. Our record company is putting pressure on us to make our next album less rock and more pop."

"That's pretty stupid," TK observed. "You guys are only like the biggest band in the world. Obviously, whatever you're doing is right. They should leave you guys alone."

"You'd think they would, but nooooooo, we gotta dumb down our music," Matt began with sarcasm. "We gotta sound more like a boy band. We gotta sell our souls and sell out, even though we already sell out every gig we do anywhere in the world. Ha, what a load."

"At least there's no problem with your bandmates," TK optimistically spoke.

At this, Matt sighed. "I wish that were true. But Takashi. Well, Takashi has been letting fame get to his head in a bad way," Matt spoke of one of his fellow 'Teenage Wolves' bandmates. "Been doing some really stupid and dangerous stuff. He thinks he's invincible, but he's not. I'm just scared that the stuff he's doing is gonna catch up to him in a really bad way. Fame is just a terrible thing for some people. I don't think anyone as young as us should have fame, ya know. We just can't keep it, or ourselves, in check and under control."

"It's always sad when someone you care about, someone you thought you knew, changes for the worse," TK commented, thinking of his own situation while doing so. Matt was acute on picking up that fact.

"TK, you didn't come here to see how my band is doing," Matt said, diverting the conversation. "What do you need to talk to me about?"

Pausing first to look at the floor a few more seconds, TK stammered, "Matt, I. I don't. I don't know how to tell you..." In that second TK felt like he was gazing into an unavoidable near-future fate. He saw Matt, disgusted and disappointed over TK's homosexuality, ordering him to leave the house. Telling him that as far as he was concerned, they were no longer brothers. TK began to weep as he said, "Matt, please. I'm so sorry. I'm just so sorry."

Unable to bear watching his little brother suffer any longer, Matt stood up from his bed, went up to TK, and knelt down so that his eyes were at the same level. Putting a comforting hand upon TK's quivering shoulder, he softly asked, "TK, please tell me. I'm your brother. You can tell me anything. Please."

"I'm gay," the younger blond blurted out. "I'm gay, Matt. I'm sorry."

Matt removed his hand from TK and walked back to his bed, where he sat down once more. TK looked up to gage his brother's reaction to the painful revelation. He didn't know what to make of Matt's expression. The older boy just stared at him nonchalantly. Lowering his head again, TK whispered, "I'm sorry for everything."

"Is that it?," Matt asked.

TK stopped crying, thinking about what Matt had just said, how it seemed that he'd shrugged it off as being insignificant. Matt continued, "Jeez TK. I thought something horrible happened. I thought that you were going to tell me that Patamon had died, or that mom was sick, or something tragic."

"You. You mean. You mean that you don't care?"

"TK, whether you're attracted to boys or girls doesn't make a bit of difference to me," Matt explained. "Like I said before, I'm your brother, and I'll always be there for you."

It all evaporated. All the false worries and confounded fears that TK had about coming out to Matt, they all evaporated. He felt a sense of unrivaled relief at that moment, causing tears of despair to be supplanted by tears of joy. "I was so scared to tell you," TK revealed. "I was scared that you'd hate me. But I just needed to tell you. No matter what, I needed you to know."

Matt stood up from his bed again. "Come here bro," he calmly said. TK stood and walked to Matt, who gave him a hug. "TK, you have to stop beating yourself up," Matt said in the embrace. "I could never hate you. Don't you ever forget that."

TK let a few tears fall upon Matt's shoulders before they broke apart and again took their respective seats. It took a few moments for Matt to ask, "TK, how could you think I'd hate you for something so unimportant as your sexuality? If you want the truth, as your brother, it actually hurts me to know that you were uncomfortable and even scared to talk with me about this."

"I guess I was just ashamed," TK sniffled. "I've been ashamed about it since I realized that I like other boys. So, I was just assuming that you'd be ashamed of me too, even though I really had no reason to think that way."

"There are a lot more things to be ashamed about, especially when it comes to love," Matt explained. At that moment, all he could think about was Sora screaming at him the night their relationship ended, after she discovered his infidelity. She discovered that he had cheated on her with another girl, and unleashed verbal hell on Matt, before walking out on him with tears streaming from her eyes. Little did she know that even while they were still going out, Matt had plenty of one night stands, sleeping with countless other girls and boys, fans and roadies, from dozens of countries while on his world tours.

Matt continued, "Besides, it's not like this was a revelation to me, TK."

"You knew? How did you know I was gay?"

"C'mon TK," Matt said with a tone of obviousness. "Most people don't give their teenage brothers fuzzy pink bunny slippers on Christmas."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because nothing needed to be said. It has been, still is, and always will be a non-issue for me. I have more important things to talk to you about."

TK could only smile. "This is such a huge relief for me, Matt. You have no idea. I'm so happy that you don't care that I like Davis."

TK shut his mouth as quickly as he could, but it was too late. He meant to say "boys" but "Davis" was who he was thinking of at the moment, and the name slipped out. It didn't even take a second for his older brother's face to adopt a look of bewildered curiosity.

"What did you just say?," Matt slowly questioned.

TK froze for a second, embarrassed, looking for an excuse to salvage his vocal blunder. "I, um, I said ah, I'm so happy that you don't care that I like dudes."

Matt wasn't buying it. "No, you said Davis. You said you like Davis."

Looking at his feet, TK's brain became jumbled with words, yet he couldn't speak. His head simply cocked to one side as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh my god," Matt said, his voice carrying what would seem to be a slight dash of disgust. "You do. You like Davis."

Again TK shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah," he spoke softly in embarrassment.

"Davis?," Matt asked, still in disbelief.

"Uh-huh."

"Davis?"

"Yes, yes, I like Davis!," TK proclaimed, clarifying all Matt's doubts.

Then came laughter. "Hahaha, oh man. I can't believe you have a crush on Davis."

TK, whose sniffling had finally stopped, now began laughing too. "It's not funny, Matt," he said even as he kept chuckling. Matt began laughing harder, and so did TK. It felt good for TK to laugh about the situation. He had always been either horny or depressed whenever thinking about his feelings for Davis, but never laughed about them till now.

"TK, I'm not just saying this because I'm your brother, but I think you're selling yourself short. You can do a lot better than Davis when it comes to guys."

TK stopped laughing at the comment, knowing that it wasn't the case. Truth was, Davis was far too incredible a boy for him to ever land, even if Davis was gay (which TK was pretty sure wasn't the case). "Thanks for the vote of confidence Matt," TK moped, "but Davis is too good a guy for the likes of me."

"Seriously TK," Matt began as his laughing started to die down, "what do you see in Davis anyway?"

At this question TK seemed to go into a trance as he answered, "Everything. His jokes, his stubborn courage, his personality, his brown hair, his dark eyes, his athletically taut legs, his kissable cheeks, his perfect underwear bulge, his..."

"Ok, ok, t.m.i.," Matt cut his brother off before the list became explicit. "I really think you're delusional because the Davis I know is a bonehead."

"No he's not, and you know it," TK defended. "And besides, he's not as absent minded as his sister."

"I never said he was. And I don't see what Jun has to do with it," Matt said, referring to Davis' older sister.

"Well," TK started to reason, "you're making fun of me for liking Davis, who you say is a bonehead, but you had sex with Jun."

At the statement, Matt blushed. "So, um, you heard about that, huh."

"Everybody knows about your threesome with Jun and Tai, who by the way is not nearly as cute a goggle boy as Davis."

"First off, you're dead wrong about that. Secondly, there is a difference in our situations, TK. I had sex Jun, but I don't have a crush on her."

"What about Tai?"

"What about him?"

"Do you have a crush on him?"

"No." It was such a monster lie that it proved difficult for Matt's lips to even shape themselves correctly for the word to be vocalized. Nothing could've been further from the truth.

Because they were on an issue of sex, it was on TK's mind to bring up a personal question to his big brother. He heard through the grapevine that Matt had a nine inch penis. TK was curious as to whether such a rumor was real. If so, then it would mean that Matt's penis was over twice the size of TK's, which only reached four inches. He really wanted to know if there was any validity in these rumors, yet he wisely decided against asking, knowing that it would be a really creepy and bizarre discussion for siblings to have. Besides, there was no way of being sure that he could ever get the truth. Not a single boy in the world is truthful about penis size.

A moment of silence had passed before Matt broke in, asking, "So how did Kari handle the news?"

"What news?," TK asked, though he knew what Matt was referring to.

"Your homosexuality. How did she take it when you told her?"

Again, TK's head hung under the weight of guilt. "I didn't tell her."

"Don't tell me you two are still dating?," Matt asked.

"Yeah. We are."

Matt sighed before reprimanding, "TK, I don't mind you being gay at all. But what I do mind is when you threaten to crush the emotions of people we both love. She needs to know the truth."

"I know," TK concurred. "It's just... I don't want to hurt her. She's been my best friend for a long time now. I know she'll be hurt when she finds out."

Matt couldn't help but think again of his relationship with Sora. It was a situation with deceptive undertones almost identical as the one his younger brother was now in. After the initial few months of dating, Matt realized that while Sora was a friend unlike any other, he didn't really care too much for her romantically. He should've told her the truth early on, but he didn't want to face that scenario. So the relationship carried on. It became more serious and Sora's feeling towards Matt augmented as his feelings towards her weaned. On tour, he began sleeping around with random groupies, but continued lying to his girlfriend for the sake of the relationship. Then, finally, the truth was revealed, an argument ensued, curse words were thrown like vocal napalm, and tears were shed. Now, the girl who was once one of Matt's dearest friends hated his guts and still had yet to forgive him. Matt knew that if he had been honest about his feelings, instead of perpetuating the lie, he'd still have Sora as a friend. He refused to let the same catastrophe happen between TK and Kari.

"The more you keep up this lie, and the longer you date her, the more hurt she'll be when she finds out the truth," Matt sternly said. And trust me TK, she will find out. Sooner or later, somehow, someway she'll find out. Just tell Kari now, and clear your conscious. Don't prolong this lie."

"I know you're right, and I do think about telling her my situation. But every time I see her I just can't muster up the courage to let her know. My heart is weak in circumstances like that."

"Would you like me to talk to Kari?," Matt offered.

"No, no. It's something I need to do myself."

"But will you do it?"

"Yes," TK sighed. "At some point soon."

* * *

The two brothers spent a few more hours making small talk, reminiscing, and hanging out. Matt even picked up the old harmonica and played a few of the tunes he had written back in the Digital World all those years ago. When it came time for TK to leave, upon standing the boy felt like he could keep drifting upwards towards the ceiling. Dispelled of the fears he had about coming out to Matt, he felt light and free. Things went better with his big brother than he imagined in his best case scenarios, with the exception of accidently revealing his lust for Davis, which Matt jokingly made fun of him for. Even after hugging his brother goodbye, TK hardly took a few steps out the door before hearing Matt teasing him from behind, singing, "Davis and TK sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G..." All TK could do was blush.


End file.
